:: Saturday, July 31, 2004 ::
saturday night bLues..
current mood >>
h0me
... bLank... so what's your normal Saturday night like? in my so-called "life", it has become either im at work (just getting off or just about to start) or at home infront of the computer, if not watching TV munching on lotsa junk food... sometimes i tag along with my boyfriend when he goes drinking with his buddies.. i dont get wasted fyi, i just hang around... ^_^ im bored and im all alone tonight.. (<-- tsk! how pathetic is that?!) at 22, what should i be really doing? what do other people my age do?? *sigh* i miss my college life in Philippines... Saturdays were great! i got to hang out with my dorm mates and we would bar hopped until we dropped.. danced all night long... *sigh* at times like this, call me crazy but i do seriously look forward for my next hospital shift so I can go back to work.. i just wanna do something fun, fun and fun.. i mean, not that i consider work as fun fun fun, it's crazy at work but atleast i get to do something and at the same time earn money.. i HATE boredom and people who know me will definitely say that's no joke! *sigh* im really bored... i really wish i had something fun to do.. :: Tuesday, July 27, 2004 :: obligation? or responsibility?
h0me
..money talks... my mom and i were talking this morning about some family monthly financial income/expenses.. i normally feel comfortable when we used to talk about these stuffs until recently when i started working and now that im quite obliged(?) to contribute atleast some $$$.. suddenly it feels really strange! i cant quite explain what im feeling exactly.. could it be becoz: ++ im too overwhelmed or new to fulfill new responsibilities as an eldest child/daughter now that im financially able? ++ or im not really comfortable hearing financial details in complete and uncut explanations? ++ or im really just not used to giving them money becoz it used to be the other way around? ++ or im just a total paranoid freak? *hmm..?* really strange... it feels so awkward! whenever my mom tells me how my sisters spent more than $200 alone during their grocery shopping over the weekend or when my dad bought his new expensive camera or how much my mom spent for our van's maintenance, it makes me think that my mom is indirectly asking me for money.. i feel bad for thinking that way and i know i shouldnt have even thought about that in the first place.. but i dont want them to ask for money becoz im not used to them asking for money from me and besides, they dont need to ask coz i will give them $$$ anyway without them telling me.. ofcourse i'd love to help them financially after what my parents have put through to help me become what i am.. i am after all and still a responsible child.. *gawd!* i think im just over analyzing situations and im putting more meanings in every single word my parents tell me, more than what i should really know.. what d'you think? am i the only going through or has gone through this sensitivity?? maybe it takes time for one to finally get used to this new responsibility or obligation... anyways, this is going to be the first time that im actually giving my "contributions" to our family income.. my parents wanted me to enjoy my first two pay cheques all to myself.. and this payday, i insisted to give 45% of my total pay.. unfortunately the feeling of "awkwardness" surpasses the feeling of "happiness".. maybe its just for now.. and i hope its just for now.. :: Saturday, July 24, 2004 :: movie marathon..
h0me
..watching Pearl Harbor.. yesterday at work was heLL! and i could say that again and again! i thought i had the worst patient-assignment of aLL! i only had 4 patients but seemed like everyone of them had difficult issues that i had to deal with.. gawd! one was on restraint and was very uncompliant and aggressive, the other one had all these electolyte problems, the other one was vomiting ++ and was running a very high fever and the last one took off from the hospital without even me knowing! *ugh* i was exhausted and crazy by the end of the day but hell i still love my job.. i loved the challenge and i felt like i did my job well.. ^_^ a muffin and a cup of coffee kept me going the entire day, i didnt even have the chance to eat my lunch.. i got off from the unit by past 8pm already... but i still love my job ^_^ i mean, i dunno... i enjoyed every minute of it, call me crazy but i really did! anyways, since i was really hungry i talked mon into eating in a our fave jap restaurant so i could have my fave tempura dinner! mhan! i've never eaten so fast like how i ate last night in my entire life! i was starved! after that we went to see Spiderman 2.. *finally!* (the movie was cooL, watch it!) it was past 1am when we got home and finally hit the bed to sleep... *sigh* what a day! woke up today at 12pm and i felt like i was reborn! *lol!* that was a good rest after a crazy day yesterday! im looking forward to Monday when i go back to the crazy world of Nursing again! ^_^ today we did nothing but watch movies... we watch Spiderman 1 earlier and now we we're watching Pearl Harbor.. Mon bought 3 dvds today for only $27 [Spiderman 1, Pearl Harbor and The Exorcist] quite a bragain huh!?! after this we might watch The Exorcist! *yikes* the new Dell Computer that i bought is scheduled to be delivered in our house on the 3rd of August! im so excited! and so is everyone else in the house! ^_^ :: Wednesday, July 21, 2004 :: nothing much to bLog about (?)
h0me
bLoated... sLeepLess after spedning hours trying to get some sleep i decided to stop and wait till my system is really ready to hit the sack.. i've been awake now for more than 24 hours! gawd! i just came out from my 2 night shifts this morning.. and i hated it! it's one of the few not-so-nice thing about nursing.. it changes my sleeping pattern completely as well as my eating habits! i feel like a zombie! *argh* i hope that i get my normal sleeping pattern back tonight, as well as my eating habits *hehehe!* i've been wanting to gain some weight, just a little bit.. i lose weight more when im working nights! i mean, it's bad enough that my metabolism is really fast and add my night shifts on that equals a skinny 'ol me! trust me, it's hard to gain wait for someone like me! seriously! im beginning to think that i might be having hyperthyroidism.. ok, here i am again with my self-diagnosing habit.. i should stop. my family decided to have lunch today at Swiss Chalet and it was all on me.. im so glad i got a 15% discount on our total bill.. for those who dont know, i used to work as a part-time manager at Harvey's and Swiss Chalet for quite sometime when i was still in school.. i decided to quit when i thought my studies needed my undivided attention.. it feels great to know that people there still recognize me, glad to see me again, and still gives me discounts! *LOL!* both of my sisters are still working there part-time by the way, courtesy of me ofcourse.. the owner loves us! *LOL!* i bought a new computer from Dell today.. since my mom's paying for my new computer that i use in Woodbridge, and our old computer here in Aurora is starting to detoriorate, i decided to buy them a new a computer in return (and Jenny considers it as my birthday gift to her as well).. im so glad that i qualified for Dell's financial plan so i dont need to pay the whole amount right away, but instead, i'll have to pay them in monthly terms.. here's how the computer looks like: 
it's almost exactly the same as the one i use in Woodbridge, only more expensive due to some added features.. by the way, i got a new haircut today.. i dont know what got into me really.. i thought my mind was made up that im not gonna have a haircut until next year but somehow obviously it's not gonna happen.. my friend Kath had a haircut yesterday, and maybe that influenced me.. i mean, either that or my brain's really dead due to lack of sleep.. but regardless, i love my new haircut, short as always and makes me look even younger! *hehehe!* :: Saturday, July 17, 2004 :: "shopping is so therapeutic" h0me
..sleepy-head.. whoa! have you noticed the new functions of BLOGGER? pretty neat huh... anyways, i just have to say something about my past two days at work: i love what i do! i love being a nurse on our floor! i had so much fun working yesterday - my patients were all so adorable in their own little way and on top of all i had a great team to work with! I, Joanne, Fanny, and Kate were the only 4 nurses on the floor yesterday, all ranging from newly to fairly new grads.. although we were extremely busy yesterday we managed by helping one another.. being a new staff, i didnt feel like i was treated differently or ignored, i felt proud of my own contributions.. *sigh* i think that is something very inspiring, something to look forward to (on top of your pay cheque ofcourse ^_^) when you go to work - great people to work with, right?! im surprised that many have commented on my previous blog - cooking dilemas.. well, fyi, i impressed myself! the pancit turned out perfect, with a little help from my boyfriend ofcourse.. i cooked the topings all by myself (im so proud of myself *yey!*) and then i just had to ask my boyfriend for tips on how to cook the bihon which i found out was so easy!! his technique was just to dip the bihon in water till it softens then it's ready to go with the topings.. my mom's technique is to boil the bihon first in some water flavored with some soy sauce then she mixes them with her topings.. oh well, i guess there's tons of ways to cook pancit.. but nevertheless, the pancit and lumpiang shanghai tasted great (accdg to my tasters - and i didnt pay them a penny to praise my food) and there were no leftovers!! ^_^ i, jenny and my tita went to the mall today and we had a fun-filled day of shopping till we dropped, well not quite, till our money dropped out on us i should say.. while we were shopping in one of the stores i overheard these two ladies talking about how "shopping is so therapeutic" and it's been in my head since.. i've come to realize that it's such a powerful phrase which holds truth in so many ways.. i remember myself shopping when im depressed or sad or angry and i must admit, shopping does help!! *LOL!* i wonder why?? *hmm* (?) anyways, i got this gift from my friend rose who loves to make these as well as beautiful layouts.. thanx rose  :: Wednesday, July 14, 2004 :: cooking dilemas
|h0me|
|..Dawson's Creek bLues..| our menu for tonight - Pancit and Lumpiang Shanghai so, how do you cook pancit? what's your special technique? now, i have an idea how to cook pancit [courtesy of my mom's efficient cook book] and hopefully i can pull it through successfully! i've cooked lumpiang shanghai before but this is going to be my first time cooking pancit.. *LOL* cooking isnt really one of my best abilities. i didnt really like the kitchen atmosphere as i was growing up - humid, hot and sticky.. i must admit, i learned how to cook the simplest filipino food of all at a very late age.. and if it wasnt for my boyfriend, i'd still be ignorant about this matter.. my boyfriend taught me how to cook basic dishes like sinigang and nilaga.. obviously he knows how to cook way better than me! anyways, despite my ignorance im quite happy for now that atleast i know to follow a cook book - 'really not the best thing in the world but good enough for a starter like me! there's no special occassion today for me to cook pancit.. since im off from work, i figured i'll have more time to spare cooking today so why not cook something different from our regular rice and dishes.. i already have most of the ingredients, im only missing some vegetables.. im hoping that in the end, we have something edible for tonight! *LOL!* :: Friday, July 09, 2004 :: RN result - instant replay!
|h0me|
|..exhausted..| im soo tired! i've been workin my ass off for these past couple of days.. good thing im off from work today till Sunday, i deserve it! so what's been happening.. updates: July 6 - Tuesday after sleeping for 13 straight hours, i woke up in the mid afternoon not knowing that something HUGE was waiting for me! for some reason i thought i'd check the mail first before i had something to eat.. and so i did.. first couple of mails i saw were our Tax reports, then at the bottom was this white small thick envelope.. my heart stopped for a second when i saw that this white envelope was from the College of Nurses of Ontario.. and then my heart started beating so fast i thought my heart would jump right out of my chest! i was shakin while i was trying to rip open this damn envelope! and then the first couple of lines i saw stated this: "..we are pleased to inform you that you have been successful.." tears started to roll down my face and i quickly run to our house unaware of what the people around me then were thinkin as to why i was teary eyed and running! my mom was the first person i saw when i entered the house.. my mom couldnt understand what i was trying to say as i kept stuttering and choking in tears! and after i calmed myself down, i said "I passed!".. my mom was so happy and i saw tears of joy in her eyes.. I couldnt stop crying for quite sometime.. the feeling was and still is hugely heaven-like! i kept repeating to myself, "I AM a Registered Nurse officially!".. and it actually took me sometime to absorb this!! *LOL!* and that was the biggest highligt of my entire life! i will never forget how it felt like to see the envelope to the moment i finally saw the result... we didnt have any celebration on that day as everyone else was workin or what not, and i had to work the day after.. so my boyfriend and I just had simple dinner at our fave Japanese Restaurant.. at the end of the night, i went to bed with a big smile on my face! July 7 - Wednesday back to work.. July 8 - Thursday another day at work.. we were so busy i only had the chance to have a 30 min break in my entire 12 hour shift! i went home to Aurora after becoz it was my dad's birthday.. i got mad at my 2 sisters for not even buying and giving my dad a card!! it was very rude of them i said.. i bought my card last Tuesday but didnt have the time write something inside until last night.. MY card turned out OUR card eventually.. I didnt mind sharing the card, i was only mad becoz they didnt even bother making my dad atleast special on his day!! i told my dad i'll treat him out next weekend.. July 9 - TODAY nothing significant has happened yet.. but we're going to have dinner tonight at Mandarin Restaurant to CELEBRATE *yeah baby!* my BIG success as well as my sister Jenny's 15th birthday.. I cant wait! I need to fill myself up! LOL again, i just wanna thank those people, my friends, who prayed and hoped for me to pass my exam.. there's too many of you to mention all your names, but you know who you are, so thank you so much!! :: Tuesday, July 06, 2004 :: I passed!
|h0me|
|... extremely over-joyed!..| 
i got the result today!!! *yey!* im soo happy i passed! thank you for those who prayed for me!! i'll try to blog again and visit your sites soon, maybe on Thursday after my work.. :: Friday, July 02, 2004 :: freaky anticipation!
|h0me|
|..longing for a problem-free world..| im not feeling very good.. last night, the reality that it is already July kicked in to me for the first time and for a couple of minutes, my heart started pounding quickly that i thought it was coming out of my chest! the results of the RN Board Exam will be known soon, and I will know not later than July 15 whether I passed or failed.. it is pretty scary, nerve-wreckin', and this is really making me so anxious! my anxiety is soo bad that i feel sick and nauseated.. and what could better worsen this whole situation than to have an even negative thought!! im haunted every now and then of the thought that "maybe i failed the exam". i am praying and hoping not ofcourse, but i dunno.. after what i've gone through with my MOCK exam (my pre-grad exam), i've learned my lessons, i cant be too over confident anymore!! *ugh* the anticipation is killing me!! :: Thursday, July 01, 2004 :: First Day, First Pay
|h0me|
|..bLank...| Yesterday was my first day in the Unit.. and I thought I was supposed to shadow who ever nurse was going to be assigned to me, but turned out i was actually going to work! I was assigned to work in the Cardiac Proper of the floor. I had to do patient admissions, prep'd them for the Angiogram Procedure and when they returned, I had to monitor them for signs of bleeding or what not, took their vital signs every 15 minutes or so and by the end of the day sent them home eventually. It was completely different from the floor where I did my pre-grad.. I thought the job was quite light that I thought I could easily get used to it, but I'd still rather work in a fast-paced floor, like my pre-grad floor. On Saturday, Im pretty sure Im gonna be working in the General Medicine part of the floor. Nurses on the floor said it's usually crazy on that part of the unit. Well, I like excitement so what could be better huh? ^_^ Im looking forward to it! But in the mean time, I should relax and enjoy my 2 days off first! Oh, and I finally got my first pay cheque yesterday! Although I got a fair amount, I was disappointed to see the damn TAX deductions!! the whole cost of tax deductions = 20.75% of my total pay! now, how ridiculously crazy is that?! ok, maybe im over exaggerating.. but that's not all!! there's also Insurance and Union deductions of 11.26%.. with a GRAND TOTAL of = 32.01% deduction! *tada!* seriously, isnt that crazy?! *ugh* I better make sure I make use of every penny the Canadian government's taking from me! *hmph!* |
ABOUT
QUEENZ | 27 | Gemini | resides in Toronto | happily married to MON | a happy mom to LUKE MERVIN and LiANNA MEGAN | employed as an RN but presently on Maternity Leave | unpredictable | spontaneous | simple-living | hopeless-romantic | self-confessed martyr | crazy for sweet stuffs | loves trying different restos in town | amateur web-designer |
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