:: Friday, April 29, 2005 ::
wanted: extra weight!
current mood >>
home...
exhausted... i just got home from work - it was my first long day shift after that long break that i had.. i was supposed to work grave yard shifts actually all through out the weekend but someone switched with me.. i didnt mind switching since im not really a grave-yard shift fanatic.. im a lot more myself during the day - at work i mean.. so yeah, im working day shifts all through out the weekend.. not bad... not bad at all.. i had a fairly good day.. i wasnt busy at all, and hopefully it stays *crossing-fingers* that way all through out since im gonna have the same patient assignment.. i bought my bf a bottle of multi-vitamins today - chewable vitamins.. i bought them that way so that i could have some every now and then.. i've been wanting to gain some weight but i havent really had the urge until these past few days.. i figure that vitamins could make me gain weight.. i want some extra fats in the RIGHT places, i wanna be a little bit chubby.. remember that 7 consecutive shifts that i had right before i had my long break from work? well believe it or not, in that amount of time i lost 7 lbs! *tsk!* now i need to gain them all back, if not more! i dont wanna be skinny but i dont wanna be fat either.. i just wanna have some sort of "meat" if you must, hehehe! i know im pretty lucky that my metabolism is really fast but, uhmm.... i just dont wanna look skinny.. so yeah, hopefully i do gain some weight and that's a goal that i need to achieve atleast until before my 23rd birthday *yikes!* ^_^ now that got me into thinking - gheez! im turning 23 soon!! terrible! but anyways, im gonna eat and eat and eat more!! that's it for now folks! gotta hit the shower and get some rest.. have a great weekend everyone! i know i will coz i'll be working *yuck!* :: Thursday, April 28, 2005 :: a promise
at work
*grave yard shift (again!)* i left work tuesday morning somehow feeling unefficient - that i did not do my job very well.. i deliberately slacked off and i did not do anything about it.. and so i came back to work tonight and found out the mess i left on tuesday morning.. a patient that i had became very unstable in the morning, pre-coded (pre-cardiac arrest) if you must.. this patient wasnt really doing great that night but i did not pay too much attention about his condition.. although i know that there are things that are beyond my control and i can only do so much, i regret not giving my best that night, for failing to be a responsible nurse.. and sadly, i had to realize it by risking this poor patient's life.. but thank God he's way better now.. he's my patient again tonight and im monitoring him, and all my other patients closely tonight, like how i used to. this has been bothering me since tuesday morning when i left, but more so now that i knew what happened right after i left.. and becoz of this, i promised myself that no matter what the circumstance is, im gonna try to be efficient and do my best to do my job well.. see, sounds easy for me to say but im serious, i cant let that happen again, im gonna hate myself for that.. i aint only risking my licence, but my patients' life.. i usually do a pretty good, if not the best job.. im not saying that to cover up or to make me feel any better.. it actually makes me feel a lot sorrier for what happened but the good thing is i learned from it. *sigh* i was really such an irresponsible nurse on monday night.. tsk! but that aint happening again, never! :: Tuesday, April 26, 2005 :: back to work
at work..
*graveyard shift* and so after 16 beautiful days of being away from work, i finally had to return tonight.. although i hate grave yard shifts, somehow im thankful that my first day back is a night shift because it would've been hard for me to wake up early in the morning.. i did manage to get some sleep during the day (10am - 2:30pm) and that's just perfect to keep me going until i get my break i guess.. and then im off again for a day after this shift - sweet! it seems like im going to be working grave yard shifts until the end of next week with a couple of days off in between.. a few things have changed while i was away from work but otherwise things are just the way they are when i left.. i heard 6 staff nurses are pregnant (whoa!) - i guess people have been busy huh... 1 staff left our unit and got transferrred to ICU.. some patients who've been here for a very long time are still here; a few of them who i thought were getting better are actually getting worst and those who we thought were not gonna make it are still here.. well, what do you know, that's the mystery of life huh.. anyways, i should get back to work.. :: Monday, April 25, 2005 :: the letter
home..
*gloomy day* i havent been at my parent's house.. my dad and i havent said a word to each other since he read the letter.. he hasnt said a word to anybody since actually and no one really knows what's going on in his mind right now.. my mom did try to speak to him before she gave him my letter.. they were and still are angry at each other and somehow ended up deciding to sell our house in the end and go separate ways.. although i know that this kind of argument is nothing new to them and i've heard this whole thing a million times before, somehow the whole message felt a little different though this time.. but im still calm and cool at this time. after that exchange of words between my mom and dad, she gave him the letter.. all i ever told my dad in that letter was for him to lower his pride and stop being selfish.. now becoz he's all silent after all these, i dont really know if he did get my message or not.. im not sure either whether that's gonna change his mind about this whole selling the house and going separate ways. i cant tell... no one can tell what's gonna happen next.. im open minded about everything and so are my sisters.. all i ever care about right now is everybody's peace of mind and happiness.. and i'll support whatever decision they make in the end.. :: Friday, April 22, 2005 :: Dad + Me = Major Disaster
home...
*bLank* it has been known in the history of mankind that my dad and i dont go along very well.. at times i wish we could have done something, maybe work something out. Sadly, it has never been resolved.. Personality differences i guess? maybe.. is it him? or is it just me? when we're around each other we're like ticking bombs waiting to explode.. he says or does something that really pisses me off and sometimes vice versa.. i just couldnt keep it anymore today.. i just have to let him know what i feel and point out what he does that makes me, and even my sisters so distant from him.. i left him a letter.. as of this moment, i know he hasnt had the chance to read the letter yet.. the possible consequences of my action are endless but what stands out the most in my mind right now is the possibility of a major war and disaster - but that again is not something new to us so be it! he needs to know becoz if this is not the right time, when will be the right time? :: Wednesday, April 20, 2005 :: nighTmaRes
home..
*rainy day* as the days go by really and ridiculously fast and the fact that my holidays from work are numbered ive started having nightmares... it's crazy! i've been dreaming of myself in my scrubs working at the hospital for the past few nights now.. the thing is, i do pray at night, if not for sweet but atleast good dreams.. obviously im not at all looking forward to going back to work and im not at all thrilled! if i was, i dont think i'd be calling this whole thing nightmares, i'd call them sweetdreams for sure.. i dont remember my days at work going by as quickly as my days when im on holidays, seriously! sometimes i wish i could hold on to the time and keep it still until im dying to go back to work, which is never basically.. dont get me wrong though, i like my job but i just dont feel like going back to work yet.. *sigh!* the only thing i look forward to about my work is payday (and that is tomorrow, yahoo!) *LOL!* but all good things must come to an end unfortunately.. on a different note, my cuzns Giselle and Gabrielle (and my tita Beth + tito Nato) from Dubai are finally here... it seems like it was only yesterday (but it was really three and a half years ago) when we left them back home in Dubai and now they're here with us, and we're united again.. *LOL!* they're staying at my parents' house in the mean time until God knows when.. so you can imagine how crazy it is in the house right now - my sisters with my cuzns, and my mom with her sisters (my Titas ) - it's definitely a Full House! and becoz it is literally a full house, i can no longer have my sleep-overs at my parents' house.. *sobs!* well, sort of.. i can still sleep over but not on my regular bed anymore; on the coach instead.. (part of growing up and growing away i guess..)  .sHeryLL. .jeNNy. .GiseLLe.  .jeNNy. .GiseLLe.  .GabrieLLe. .GiseLLe. .Me.  .Me. .GiseLLe. so there you have it folks! that's it for now.. :: Friday, April 15, 2005 :: *endless sighs*
home...
thinking... [+] i went to this financial service office about 3 weeks ago to file my income tax with their help.. all the while i thought i'd be able to get my long-awaited refund in 2 weeks time after i visited their office.. but i just found out today that my tax was sent by mail, not by email, and therefore i have to wait for another week or so.. i hate waiting, especially when im in need of ca$h! *sigh* [+] i need a 'real' break.. i love it here in the house, just relaxing and that sorta thing.. but im getting bored - really bored.. *sigh* i wish Kath or Badeth was here so we could go out and chill out. [+] been thinking about getting a new part time job.. actually i do have a part time job.. it's just that i havent done any shifts with them at all coz they would either call me when im not available to work for them or they just dont call me at all.. yeah, i think im better off looking for another one.. *sigh* [+] my emotional mode kicked in again yesterday.. and this time i was all emotional about me and mon - or 'us'.. more often than not i've always been the romantic, the more caring, and the more thoughtful one in our relationship - i guess its safe to say that i give more in our relationship.. i say it so not because i think so but becoz we both think so and we've been sorta 'ok' with that most of the time.. but at times like yesterday, i wish it was the other way around for a change.. ofcourse i dont expect him to exceed what i do coz he can never, we're different in that matter.. but i wish he could do a little more than he does, not all the time, but atleast every now and then.. sometimes i wonder if that nature of his was a product of him having had more ex-girlfriends than me having ex-boyfriends.. or maybe some bad history or what not.. maybe he's done it all in the past and just wanna take it easy this time.. or maybe he was just purely born with it.. but then again, im sure it doesnt take that much effort if you really love that someone, right? and besides im not at all a high-maintenance kinda gurL.. im not materialistic but simple things and thoughts are enough to impress and make me happy and content. *sigh* [+] *sigh* i've been thinking, or rather been wanting lately to trade my Ford xls for a Ford Sport.. hopefully i can start settling things by next week.. for once, i just need to think about this decision very carefully.. and i need to set aside my impulsive behaviour for the time being.. needless to say, i got my Ford xls out of my spontaneity, again!  * my ford xls *  * ford sport * isnt it just undoubtedly beautiful? [+] im craving for some chicken wings with creamy garlic or blue cheese dip again. *sigh* [+] *happy sigh* in less than 24 hours, my Tita and Tito along with my cousins are arriving in Toronto! im getting really excited! :: Thursday, April 14, 2005 :: on movies and showbiz
home..
nothing to do.. my boyfriend rented Shark Tale on dvd and i watched it yesterday.. it was hillarious! i'd say it was way better than The Incredibles..   Will Smith (Oscar) was super hillarious.. but i just love Lenny the shark, he's soo adorable! (there goes the kid in me again..) it was really a fun movie to watch.. you should go see it yourself if you havent seen it yet.. There are three more dvds lined up for me to see this afternoon:    The Forgotten, Paparazzi and After the Sunset. *teehee!* this is the life of a bum. + + + and so Britney Spears is pregnant they say.. everyone has been talking about it non-stop yesterday, on TVs and on radio stations.. *gheez!* what is it about her? pardon me Britney fans out there, im really not a fan of her and i think a lot of people somehow feel the same way.. she was cool when she was just starting her career, with the Hit me baby one more time and Oopss I did it again moments.. I think people started to not-like her anymore when she had some breast surgery or when she locked-lips with Madonna and even more so when she married her present husband Kevin Federline.. and so when the news broke out that she was indeed pregnant the other day, i heard more of the "ewww", "hahaha!" and "whatever" comments rather than "aww, that's nice" and "im happy for her" kinda comments.. in a more descriptive sense, i heard a lot more angst and disgust from people rather than emotional and happy comments about her pregnancy.. last night on some showbiz tv show, someone commented that "atleast we know now surely that she's no longer a virgin."  when i heard about this news on the radio the other day, along with the host's negative comments, i honestly felt negative about it myself.. like what i said, i am not a fan at all.. ok, i lied.. i hate her as matter of fact.. i think my negative feelings about this whole thing was even more aggrevated by what i hear people say in TVs and on radio stations.. (see how media affects our insights!) but then, i know i should cut this crap and leave her alone.. God only knows, she could've dreamed about this moment for a very long time and she must be ecstatic and over joyed.. lotsa women dream of having their own child, and she's very lucky that she was given this gift.. ok, so that's it. that's enough about her. period! + + + im getting really excited! my relatives from Dubai are finally arriving this Saturday! i cant wait! :: Wednesday, April 13, 2005 :: new layout!
home...
bored.. new layout! i was getting tired of my old one, hence i came up with another one... nothing unusual about this one, it's almost the same style as my previous one.. i just made some "re-arrangements" and "color-changes".. and i thought i'd stick to green this time since i think it's the only color-scheme i havent used in my past layouts.. + + + i have somehow managed to deal with my chicken-wing cravings the other day.. well, my boyfriend did actually, by buying us chicken wings for lunch yesterday! *damn!* i pigged out on chicken wings yesterday and some more today with the left-overs.. well, it doesnt happen very often that i eat a lot you know.. and besides i want to gain some weight (ahem, ofcourse not with bad cholesterol as much as i can) during my break from work.. i could sleep more if i wanted to, but lately all i want to do is just eat! and eat more especially when im watching dvds! look at my bag of junkies, errr, goodies i mean!  i got them from asian stores here in Toronto and from Lizelle (mon's sister).. yeah, yeah, i know im not gonna gain weight from eating all these junkies, but they're soo good! they remind me so much of my early years in Philippines... and they sorta give me a sense of satisfaction and comfort... *LOL!* anyways, im tired and hungry (again!) from doing this layout, i think im gonna take a break and start hitting those pretzels in my bag.. ^_^ :: Monday, April 11, 2005 :: boyzIImen
home...
relaxed and rested... i had a blast over the weekend... well, "blast" i think is a little over exaggerated.. so let's just say i had fun... last Saturday night i with my bf, mom, tita, aunt maureen and uncle henry went up to Casino Rama to gamble (ofcourse!) and to watch BoyzIImen's concert... i had been looking forward to that night... i love boyzIImen! im not a die-hard fan but i just love them and most of their songs... here are some pics that i took..  * that's me ofcourse, so ready to watch the concert!*  * i and mon on our way to Casino Rama *  * that's us again *  * our journey *  * after an hour of driving, we finally arrived at the Casino Rama *  * from left: my mom, tita lita, mon and me.. so ready to watch the BoyzIImen live*  * BoyzIImen - singing Bended knees *  * i cant remember what they're singing here... *  * the grand finale performance * unfortunately, they were missing a member at that time so there were only 3 of them performing... they were great, but... uhmm... i didnt really like the songs they chose to sing.. but it's aight, i still love them.. i didnt win by the way at the Casino... i lost 80 bucks on sic bo.. + + + im off from work for 16 days!! yeah babe! 16 days!! im sooo feeling it!! im not going anywhere though, i wish i was.. my friend Kathlein and her boyfriend were inviting us to go with them to Cuba but i have some relatives expecting to come here in Toronto next weekend so im gonna pass with the Cuba thing for now.. but it would've been so much fun though.. imma just relax for now, do some sleeping... well, maybe a little bit more than "some" sleeping for this week coz im sure next week i'll be busy touring my relatives around town... but hell im soo loving my 16 days off from work!! i've been having this crazy cravings for chicken wings... yesterday my sisters and i had lunch at Tom and Jerry's and i had their regular size chicken wings with fries with some blue cheese dip and i soo loved it... and today im crazving for some more.. im thinking about the chicken wings from Pizza Pizza with their creamy garlic dip...  ohh, my mouth is starting to water! see, this is what happens when you have nothing to do, crave for food endlessly! im so gonna gain weight for sure, watch me! *LOL!* :: Thursday, April 07, 2005 :: i am a celebrity!
home..
relaxed.. i was reading ate Thess's using this picture:   my celeb look a like is Lucy Lui.. hmm... i dont know about that... my boyfriend will definitely laugh his ass off if he reads this, hehehehe! but based on this picture, my race analysis showed that i am a 100% chinese, which is 100% wrong coz i dont have any chinese blood in my family.. ehehe! my personality profile states: You are a long-term planner, diligent worker and avoid risk as much as possible. You are of above average intelligence and have the ability to focus on tasks that seem unimportant at present, but can lead to greater things in the foreseeable future. You are not keen to interact with others or make social connections. You would rather gain material wealth before putting yourself in a position to be judged. You are not confrontational unless someone directly opposes your intellectual beliefs. You are highly concerned with your social status. You are keen to avoid risks that could jeopardize your long-term plans. You take a calculated approach to life, working hard to control all aspects of it in order to not leave anything important to chance. You tend to be a perfectionist and quite self-conscious. You sometimes wish you were less reserved and more like some others you see who are more bold and outspoken in social situations. But as much as you try to be like them, you cannot, because you care too much about the future to ever be comfortable taking risks in social situations. somewhat true but not all.... using this one:   with this, my celebrity look alike is Hillary Duff.. hmm... i totally disagree... i mean, do you see any resemblance at all? my race analysis shows that im 54% Korean/Japanese and 46% Chinese.. my personality profile states: You particularly enjoy the traditional way of life. Having drinks with your friends, attending parties and relaxing while watching TV are some of the simple pleasures you indulge in. You may also enjoy physical exercise. Your driving force is to retire as early as possible, so that you can do the things you enjoy more often. Your main source of ambition comes from this desire. You dont particularly like your job but you do it without complaining. You realize that the income that it provides is essential to your lifestyle. You are friendly yet competitive with your co-workers. This competitiveness may lead you to squander your earnings to match other peoples' possessions. You operate most effectively when there is a set power structure, and the lines of authority are clear. You know your place in the ranks, you play by the rules, and will deliver what is expected of you. You do not care for responsibility; you would rather be care free. somewhat true... anyways, so much for that.. i think i've had enough fun with it *LOL!* + + + im so excited to watch The O.C. tonight... needless to say, i dont get to watch it that often becoz im usually at work on thursdays.. im so behind with the story i dont know what's happening anymore... ^_^ do you watch it? it's a nice TV series, sorta like uhmm.... Dawson's Creek but it's different in most cases..  + + + i feel awful whenever i visit my parents.. my parents are constantly in argument with each other.. they argue over the smallest things and the toughest part is that both of them try to win my side.. i usually side with my mom though only becoz in my opinion she's right.. i try to be open-minded as much as i can and try to weigh both sides.. but then realizing that both of them are not drives me really crazy! *sigh* i feel like a parent when im with them.... i thought im used to them, but there are days that they just drive me insane! i guess that's what happens in our later years, and so they say mahirap magpalaki ng mga magulang.. anyways, i think i've blogged enough for today.. :: Wednesday, April 06, 2005 :: Is your job sexy?
home...
half-asleep.. while i was driving on my way home, i was listening to this radio station talking about the sexiest job.. i got intrigued and somehow wondered if others find my job sexy... the radio hosts apparently got their top sexiest jobs from salary.com... they had people phoning in and voting for what they think is the sexiest... some said construction workers... uhmmm, not really for me... some said radio hosts, eww! by now you could be wondering what is the sexiest job... all the while i could only think of lawyers becoz i find them hot ... but then again, it all depends... in most cases i just find intelligent men really sexy regardless of their profession, i mean wont you? my mind never thought of any other job aside from lawyers as i was almost brain dead due to lack of sleep and exhaustion.. anyways, i wasnt that surprised at all to find out that the top sexiest job is a firefighter... i dont personally find them sexy... infact i dont find them sexy at all, but i know lotsa gurLs find them so... not that i dont find them intelligent, but in most sense they are more physical in nature with their jobs.. other jobs that make it to the top are: 2. flight attendants 3. CEO 4. reporter 5. interior designer 6. event planner 7. nurse [whoa! i have a sexy job *LOL!* ] 8. teacher 9. doctor 10. lawyer so, what's your say? what's the sexiest job for you? in the meantime, i need to hit the bed... need some shut-eye! :: Sunday, April 03, 2005 :: working REALLY hard..
at work..
super-duper exhausted.. i cant emphasize enough how really really exhausted i am today... i've been working since Wednesday.. yes, since Wednesday so that makes today my 5th day at work, with no day offs in between.. im back again tomorrow but for a grave yard shift for 2 more consecutive nights... *sigh* what have i done to myself? i switched my shifts around so that way i could have a long break sometime next week, but i gotta pay for it by working 7 consecutive shifts... *sigh* i cant wait till this day is over... i need some sleep and that's what im going to do when i get home tonight... i aint waking up until tomorrow afternoon, ahem, when im ready to go back to work again... but im glad that i have a pre-grad student who's working with me and today is her last day being a pre-grad; therefore she can do everything.. tomorrow she becomes an official staff on our floor.. ^_^ i lost an hour of sleep last night because of the day-light saving time.. *crap!* you know how that works right? we had to set our time an hour ahead.. anyways... i need to get back to sleep...err... work.. |
ABOUT
QUEENZ | 27 | Gemini | resides in Toronto | happily married to MON | a happy mom to LUKE MERVIN and LiANNA MEGAN | employed as an RN but presently on Maternity Leave | unpredictable | spontaneous | simple-living | hopeless-romantic | self-confessed martyr | crazy for sweet stuffs | loves trying different restos in town | amateur web-designer |
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