:: Monday, July 31, 2006 ::
here i go again. . .
current mood >>
last night was my last night-shift at the hospital for this week - and im not back until next monday night again - and that, as weird as it may sound, makes me feel a little scared. . im scared that im gonna easily fall back on the lazy-mode once again and struggle hard to get back on track... however though, i have not totally abandoned work since im still working for my part time job - as a matter of fact 3x this week - today, tomorrow and on friday - yeah, still kicking some ass for some ca$h. . . but going back and reality check - my part time job is not as hard as working in the hospital so im a little bit more on the relax-working-mode, which could easily lead me to lazy-mode sooner than i think - which im hoping not...
actually, i got a phone call earlier from Adassa, and she's asking me to work a night shift tomorrow or on Sunday - tomorrow is a no-can-do since im working for my part time job in the morning - unless otherwise i can get all my people done early in the community and have some sleep and take the night shift tomorrow. . . that all depends on how my day goes by tomorrow... *hmm..* Sunday, on the other hand, most likely not since we're planning to go to Safari during the day. . . oh well.... decisions... decisions.... im tired just thinking of it all... i should go to bed now... *yesh!* im gonna sleep well tonight. . . *wink* :: Saturday, July 29, 2006 :: hair talk
im having a strong urge to cut my hair short again... im trying to resist it - struggling actually... im getting really tired of my hair and i think that's due to the fact that all this season i've just pony tailed it into a bun and never really styled it... i wanted to let my hair loose but couldnt stand the hot weather... and also becoz my sister took my flat iron so i couldnt really do much with my hair.. my hair is somewhat curly so i really need to use a flat iron to make it look nice and neat. . . hmm... i wanna keep my long hair but i wanna cut it short - (?) im not making any sense again, am i? hehehe! maybe i just need something new. . . yeah, maybe...
:: Friday, July 28, 2006 :: untitled
these past few days have been.. uhmm, what should i say... they went by so fast and took so much energy out of me...! I guess it must be the grave yard shifts - and as if that's not enough, I almost picked up another night shift today when I got a phone call from the hospital.. I tell you, I was tempted to pick the shift up in exchange for a day off on Sunday.. But since I already made plans to meet my mom today and becoz today was my only day off, or rather - im still exhausted after what happend the day before, I decided not to pick up that shift....
yeah, i know, i dont make sense.. im tired yet i almost went to work again tonight - haha! but that would have been better - I could have just sucked it up so I could have a day off on Sunday instead... oh well... I went to bed at midnight last night and then woke up at 7:30am today to have breakfast with Mon.. and besides I didnt really have the energy to cook anything last night and since he was just coming home from his night shift this morning, we decided to have breakfast together for a change at Galaxy Diner... After all, it is Thursday and it's pay day! Then we went back home to get some sleep for him, and more sleep for me... woke up at 2ish, got ready to pick up Sheryll from her work and then we drove to Newmarket to meet my mom... havent seen my mom for, uhmm, what, 2 weeks so i took her for dinner at this Mi-Ne Jap Restaurant in Richmond Hill... at the end of it all, im more than exhausted and a few dollars poorer . . . oh well . . . that's life i guess. :: Wednesday, July 26, 2006 :: boo-boo
i made a big boo-boo!
i didnt realize that i was scheduled to work a day shift for my part time job today until last night when i printed my assignment.. and it was too late to do anything about it! the result = a very difficult struggle! i came out of night shift this am and with barely any sleep i went straight ahead to see some clients in the community.. i was struggling to keep myself up, awake and alert.. i had to take 2 1-hr nap time in between and it was so difficult... im so exhausted! i learned my lessons well! i dont even need to take any benadryl or actifed coz i know any minute now i could crash and pass out in bed! *ZZzzzz...........zz!* :: Tuesday, July 25, 2006 :: bLues
i was trying to get some shut eye during my break but i couldnt - guess it must be becoz i slept from 3am till 4pm yesterday - harhar! so, just decided to put some entry here since i havent been updating for awhile...
let's see now, i guess im no longer in the lazy-mode - been working a lot these days as a matter of fact.. i think that's the key - dont get off from work for awhile coz it takes me a whole lot of time and effort getting back in track.. 'been working a whole lot of grave yard shifts and i think im better off with this since i really have difficulties getting up early in the morning - im not really a morning person - i think that was a given... i used to hate night shifts but i've got no problems with it now.. im a lot happier with night shifts as a matter of fact becoz mon and i have much more time for each other since he works night shifts all the time.. and things are a lot peaceful here in the hospital during the night *knock on wood!* dad and i havent talked for more than a year now.. havent seen him for a year as well.. i think it's gonna be like that for awhile.. miss him though.. been taking my sister to a psychologist.. our family doctor thinks she is suffering from some depression - but i think it's just hormonal imbalances... i actually spoke with the psychologist/psychiatrist (whatever!) himself and he said he doesnt think so himself after 3 sessions... i think it's just hard for my sister coping up with what's been happening within our family... *tsk!* and that makes me wonder at times if it was mostly my fault, if not partly.... hmm... whatever... i shouldnt think of personal matters right now... im at work, so i should actually get back to work now... :: Thursday, July 13, 2006 :: trying hard
i dont understand why I get unusually and easily tired these days - maybe becoz Im still trying to recuperate from the laziness mode or maybe Im still in it..? And on top of that, I've also noted that my temper and patience are quite uncontrollable too - hmm? hormonal changes? i dont think so. . . my poor short term memory has become worst too - or maybe i just dont wanna think these days, hahaha!
I can definitely feel that Im not over that laziness mode - Im still struggling hard every single time I have to work, to psych myself about how I love to work.. not that effective enough i would say.. The last time I worked at the hospital, a coworker of mine arrived on our unit not knowing that she wasnt scheduled to work.. Unfortunately, her husband who drove her to work had left already. She asked me if I wanted to go home instead and she would take my assignment for that day - and boy! did i jump on that opportunity - and believe it or not, the first thing i thought of was yehey! Im going back to sleep!!! So I did switched with her - but at the back of my mind, even for a tiny bit, I thought about the gas and parking fare that I'd have to waste - so I decided to work nevertheless, but for half a day. . . Imagine, if the gas was cheap and i didnt have to pay for my parking - i'd have definitely drove back home and sleep!!! Tomorrow - Im working for my part time - thank God I only have to see 5 patients! Im so hoping and praying already for my day to go by quickly and smoothly!! Just thinking about waking up early in the morning is already killing me...! having said that, i think i should hit the bed now for a head start. . . :: Wednesday, July 12, 2006 :: bad hair day
been thinking about have a hair cut all day today, or should i say since yesterday... something short, im getting tired of my long hair... however, i still wanna keep my long hair... *hmm?!*
:: Saturday, July 08, 2006 :: one good day
i was suprisingly in the mood to do some cleaning today.. so once it hit me, i didnt wanna stop - i was scared that laziness would hit me soon enough and everything that i have already stared would just end up in waste.. I've been quite productive and Im proud of what I was able to do today.. And what makes me even happier was the fact that I didnt go out driving today - didnt waste any gas driving around town, except ofcourse when I had to pick up Mon's Tita and when Sheryll and I decided to buy something to eat for dinner..
It was a great day all in all.... On the other hand, Jenny is still undecided on what she wants to do on her birthday.. We wanted to go somewhere but we cant decide where since it's hard to plan on a weekday - July 12, and it's my ONLY day off next week so that makes it even more difficult.. *sigh* If I had a choice, I'd rather go out and have fun than be stuck at work - that was obvious, wasnt it?! hehehe! And besides, it's summer and how many more days do we have left before winter comes back again?! we need to take advantage!! Oh well, if only life was that easy.... the reality is, i need to work for some $$$ to have some fun!! :: Friday, July 07, 2006 :: now and then indeed
when i lived back home with my mom, i could wake up in the morning with breakfast already served on the table.. I didnt have to go insane formulating a creative menu! Lunch would be ready on the table, or dinner when i come home.. and I didnt have to stay up late to prep my snacks for the next day - mom already made em for me.. I could leave the dirty dishes in the sink..
I could leave my room dirty and come home with a nice and clean room, a comfy bed ready for me to dive into. I could put my laundry in the laundry bag and mom would take care of them - my clothes would come back nicely ironed/folded in my closet. I didnt have to worry about paying the bills, doing the groceries and making both ends meet, cleaning the house, lawn mowing/shoveling the snow.. *sigh* my life back then, tsk! way too easy and comfy! thinking about it - tempting! but i woudnt trade where i am now for that.. i love my Mon too much [see how lucky your are?!] thinking about it, however, makes me hope that i could be like mom one day.. i wish i could have all that energy and patience.. :: Wednesday, July 05, 2006 :: so sick
im suffering from an illness and that's why i've called-in sick for 3 consecutive days this week at work from both my part time and full time jobs... yes my dear friends, 3 consecutive days and that's going down in history! this illness is so seriously devastating and possibly contagious.. I feel so helpless..
In all honesty though, I wasnt intending to call-in today.. But I was left with no choice - I was wide awake until 3-4ish in the morning yesterday even with the help of some sedatives.. I was scheduled to work from 7:30am until 7:30pm today and I couldnt work without sleep.. I need some serious help for cure.. If this gets worst, I could possibly endanger my future and lose everything that i have.. *sigh* anyone knows the cure for laziness?? Im back to work tomorrow - here i am staruggling hard to psyche myself about it! [ I've got the World Cup Fever - GO FRANCE!! ] |
ABOUT
QUEENZ | 27 | Gemini | resides in Toronto | happily married to MON | a happy mom to LUKE MERVIN and LiANNA MEGAN | employed as an RN but presently on Maternity Leave | unpredictable | spontaneous | simple-living | hopeless-romantic | self-confessed martyr | crazy for sweet stuffs | loves trying different restos in town | amateur web-designer |
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